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Introduction - after registration...

Started by Biology Forums, April 25, 2014, 12:32:52 PM

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Biology Forums

In my forum, as soon as members activate their account, they are automatically redirected to an introduction page. I'm looking for someone to proof read the introduction (link below) to tell me if it's friendly enough, whether it comes across as needy, or whatever feelings you get from it - good or bad. I realize that first impression is key, so I want to make a good first impression upon registering.

http://biology-forums.com/index.php?action=introduction

Note: If you are logged in, it would say Welcome to the community, {your_username}

margarett

Se forem conduzir, não bebam. Se forem beber... CHAMEM-ME!!!! :D

QuoteOver 90% of all computer problems can be traced back to the interface between the keyboard and the chair


CountryLady

Definitely warm vibes... nice.

Three suggestions...
1. On line three, you might want to add the word "to".
"that we are more than just a homework help site; members are free "to" participate in discussions, browse"

2. I would omit the following words at the end of the sentence on line 4.
"the extensive user-generated image library (gallery), or play an arcade game – to name a few. To make"

3. I would re-phrase line 5.
"this place a little less scary for you, we have laid out these simple links (↓) to help you get around and" change to...
"this place a little more efficient for new users, we have laid out these simple links (↓) to help you get around and"

All the best.
  ...CL :D

Biology Forums

I have implemented all three of these excellent recommendations, thank you.

Biology Forums

Guys, what do you think about this message prior to registering:

QuoteThe homework help offered through Biology Discussion Forums is a free service run by dedicated volunteers from around the globe who are passionate about science, and who are committed to providing the best free homework assistance on the internet. Questions posted in their appropriate category are typically answered by members and staff within hours, guaranteed. The community also invites newly registered users to become active contributors; members are encouraged to take part in discussions, attempt to answer questions posted by other members, and/or upload past notes and assignments. Your generosity and time will greatly help promote and keep this free service alive and running over time. For more information regarding forum expectations, click here to view our terms and policies (you must agree to these terms and rules before using the site).

http://biology-forums.com/index.php?action=register

I don't think it flows well, that's my issue.

firemun

The call to action buttons are nice :) I just wonder if you could "beef" them up a bit with a bit more descriptive terms.

Like...

[Ask a Question Button] about {insert some biology topic here}

That of course isn't too needed but it might help to jump start the new member's brain a bit and get them thinking about what they want to post about. An extended call to action if you will!

Jade Elizabeth

I would make them more fun looking for sure.

Also what the hell is a test bank? ha ha
Once proud Documentation Writer and Help Squad Leader | Check out my new adult coloring career: Color With Jade/Patreon.

Auke

Quote from: Shuban on May 01, 2014, 12:13:28 AM
Guys, what do you think about this message prior to registering:

Quoteare typically answered by members and staff within hours, guaranteed. The community also invites newly registered users to become size]

I think it 'flows' okay, but I'm probably an old guy compared to most users here and your target group.

I'd leave out the 'guaranteed'. You don't want claims. Mind you, I didn't look at the rest of your forum (yet).

BTW, sounds like a useful forum to me. Good luck!

Biology Forums

Thanks, Auke.

Will remove it when I get a chance. Any word I should replace it with?

Auke

Quote from: Shuban on July 25, 2014, 11:13:48 AM
Thanks, Auke.

Will remove it when I get a chance. Any word I should replace it with?

Don't replace it. Just change "hours, guaranteed. The" into "hours. The".

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