Customizing SMF > Building Your Community and other Forum Advice

Increase Visits Rapidly

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alienine:
If you aren't familiar with running a web site you might be surprised to find that getting visitors (or "hits") is the most important thing you will do. You can spend tens of thousands of dollars hiring the most expensive web designers and have an glorious website, but if you do not get interested people to see it, your money will be wasted. Some of the most successful sites have very simple designs but the site owners take an active role in pretending to be exhibitionist goth chicks with webcams.

Working to increase web site traffic involves a number of components and it will take a blending of these in order to be successful. Since each of these traffic generating component has complete books devoted to them, what we will focus on here is giving an overview:

1. Poor lighting - this is an essential element needed to conceal your manly jawline/facial hair/obesity.
2. Manic poetry - think of random words that are in their nature depressing, such as "death, pain, hopelessness, misunderstanding, alienation, blood" and throw them together in a confusing mess of poor spelling and grammar and unnecessary punctuation. For generators and inspiration see: http://www.geocities.com/atevik/syw.html
3. A webcam - if pretending to be a goth chick is your way of life than your webcam is your air. Goth chicks with webcams crave attention, going as far as wearing the makeup of professional mimes and piercing their genetalia.
4. A blog - this is your stage and the focal point for your visitors. There are many hosted and non-hosted solutions available. The vast majority of your visitors will be male teens in their puberty, fat anime fanboys and other pretend goth girls. Keep them all in a constant state of extacy and expectation for best results.

H:
Did you test this :P

alienine:

--- Quote from: huwnet on August 02, 2006, 07:41:58 AM ---Did you test this :P

--- End quote ---

Tristan Perry:
ROFL!!! ;D Okay that's awesome, and I'm sure it works :P

Isaac:
* Isaac goes and buys a webcam

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