From the Team Blogosphere, to the Community, that time has come.

[Arantor]

I arrived here actually posting a little over 9 months ago now, and have caused a lot of things to happen since I've been here. Lots of changes, lots of developments - not least multiple minor releases of 1.1 (when I joined up, 1.1.8 was the main version, I think), plus 2.0 RC2, and it's been a heck of a ride.

But all good things must come to an end, and as they say, too much of a good thing is bad for you - and it's entirely true with SMF and me, and on this note I am announcing my retirement from the SMF team.

I've been finding it a little less fun lately - moderation has never been much of a strong point with me, I'm an all or nothing kinda guy, and that's why I've racked up an average of 3,000 posts per month since I started posting. But I can't keep on doing that.

I've found myself getting cross at things, that really I shouldn't be getting cross at. I've found myself having to rewrite posts where I can see the initial version is far too inflammatory as benefits a team member - or indeed a community member.

I've been running round being a one man army, it seems - on any given day I can account for up to 8-10% of all new posts forumwide. Which is too much for any one person to sustain, and on that note I'm slowing down as best I am able.

I'll still be around here - it's not like I'm disappearing off the face of the Earth. But I wouldn't expect to see me ploughing through Coding Discussion or Mod Requests, or spamming the mod site for a while.

Those who were aware of my intention before this team blog posting made it fairly clear that it would be a loss to the community - that's true of anyone leaving a community from what I suppose is a prominent position, and I can assure you all this isn't something taken very lightly. I guess it'll seem worse because I made such an impact in the last 9 months, far more than anyone - myself included - could ever have expected or dreamed of.

But Simple Machines is more than just one person, it's a team and the team are strong enough to carry on without me for a (possibly long) while. I have confidence in the team rising up to the challenge of carrying on with everything that needs to be done, and I think everyone will end up the better for it - they won't have to put up with my temper! As for me, a change really will be as good as a rest

For those wondering, I will be pursuing other interests - most importantly for now, SimpleDesk, a helpdesk mod/integration into SMF which I'm currently leading development of, and as such spending a lot more time there than here at the moment. As we move that towards 1.0, things may change, but not soon, I suspect.

Please don't attempt to PM me about this - expecting the worst, I have blocked all PMs because this is something I have to do and cannot let myself be swayed or seduced by other methods of taking a break. I need to take a step into the unknown and cast off everything I do not want or need and allow myself to return to the joy and freedom of coding for the fun of it.

With that, I diminish and pass into the grey, a friend of SMF evermore. Thank you and good night

[Deaks]

shame you needed to stand down its a big loss to SMF and I hope the team realise that

[JBlaze]

Sucks to see SMF's #2 spammer leave

Best wishes Arantor!

[Costa]

Arantor

[Sabre™]

Rest well champ, you deserve it, and your reasons show your intelligence is not limited to your passion for code!!
Now.. at my present course, and providing you don't post anymore, I should overtake you on the posting range in approximately...
20 odd years!?!?! 
Luckily it's not one of my life ambitions

Have fun!! 

[Kill Em All]

Gonna miss you Arantor. And I completely agree, you have contributed a lot to this community, and we have nothing but thank yous to give you. Good luck on your journey to where ever life takes you. I know where ever you go you will be quite content with yourself and the actions that lead you there.

Again, thanks for all your time spent to expand the SMF community. I'm sure everyone here appreciates that, I know I very much do.

[SteveFJ]

Well Arantor, I have to say that over a period of time, on several occasions you have been great help to me. I thank you for that, and wish you well in what you do. May it be the right thing for you.

Your a SMF Champion.

[Tanks]

you helped me a few times. For that, and all the other work you did for SMF, i thank you.

When it is no fun - that is a good time to quit !

[Gargoyle]

If it's not fun it's not worth doing...

Thanks for the help you have given me. It is and has been much appreciated. Good luck on your new undertakings.

[LiroyvH]

Best wishes mate. Sad to see you go grey, you do so much. Hope you will be back sometime soon

[NoobDeveloper]

we  will miss you                 

[Cassiel]

Take care Arantor, and I wish you the best of luck in your life. It's sad to see you go, but if it's needed then it's needed. I have no idea what it's like for you so I can't say. But regardless, live life to the best and I for one can't wait to see SimpleDesk be released.

[Arantor]

Thank you all for your kind words.

9 months is far too short a time to spend amongst such good people.

It's been a pleasure.

[LC]

 

I like you Arantor, you have helped me with so many different issues, I couldn't name them all. You were one of the first SMF people to help me get through my noob mistakes.

I hope you don't stay away for too long. You will be sorely missed.

Best wishes.

[Arantor]

Guess it's confession time.

Earlier today, I screwed up. I REALLY screwed up. The above burnout... I'm hurting, I'm hurting so bad inside it isn't funny - I actually considered breaking my own rules about alcohol - joys of being a recover(ing/ed) alcohol dependent. And in so doing I hurt a lot of people that I consider friends.

In the height of that I actually requested account deletion for the second time, fully intended never to return, then I get an email - not a PM since they were disabled - that amounted to a simultaneous slap round the face and kick in the nether regions. (If you've ever gotten terribly drunk, walked into something and emerged feeling stone cold sober, you'll probably understand)

So, I'm sort of back, sort of not. My signature says it all.

A quiet perfect word in the dead of night, worth more than any words in the heat of day, can quell even the hardest heart's ache.
A gentle word spoken with kindness can undo even the tightest knots of emotional pain.
And with but a quiet perfect word I undo the last of the heated utterances.
And with but a single gentle word, I say naught but apologies for the tightest knots of pain, and submit myself to judgement for the wrongs I have wraught; for no man is above judgement, for good or ill, or better or worse, and whence his time comes, he will receive what is due unto him.

The author of these words, J, has said many things in his time but this is I think the most profound thing he's ever said. And I can do nothing but quote it verbatim.


Edit: I'm probably going to regret this, but PMs re-enabled.

[busterone]

Well, All I can say is thanks for all the hard work you have put in here. I have learned a lot by just lurking the support threads. I have learned much from many others as well, but to see you leave would be a loss for many, not just to me.

I wish you all the best in whatever you are doing, and I am glad to see that you are not completely gone. 

[shadow82x]

Sorry to see you go Arantor.

You have contributed to a lot around here. And I know how you feel...

[SN]

Hi Arantor, i don't really know you personally but i seen you around the forum and i have helped me on a few issues.

its quite sad to read this and see situation you have got into, and i think you have made the right decision to take a break.

There no point forcing yourself to do it if you are not enjoying it anymore, sometimes you have to put yourself first and not make SMF your priority.

I hope you can pull through this,

Maybe you can try and get back into things  you enjoyed in the past... RPGs? (i read your blog post before)

all the best mate

[SoLoGHoST]

Arantor,
This is truly a sad day in SMF History   The Great Arantor is no more   I just want to say, that it has been an absolute pleasure reading your posts, and working with you on some occasions within posts, offering help and support.  I have learned so much from just reading your posts that I can't say this about just anyone.  It has been wonderful getting to know you here at SMF.  I remember when you first joined the team and I was so happy for you, felt like a part of me was on the team, even though it wasn't.  Well, ofcourse, we can all get burned out and say and/or do things we don't mean to say and/or do.  Nobody is Perfect ofcourse, thus the flaws that make us human.  It's still very sad to see you go, but glad to know that you will still be around here at SMF

Sincerely,
Solomon

[Gidget Claire]

Dear Arantor,

we never interracted with each other but every time since I've been back into posting here I've been aware of your contributions (lol, you spammer,  ). I've read many of your posts and you're a genuine helper, therefore it sucks to see you quit the team.
It seems that only the best of us, the truly talented persons are so hard on theirselves, and it's a real shame because it only leads to pain and regret. I read your post about being tempted and that's something that I can totally relate to. But Arantor, the good thing is you didn't give in. You said you considered breaking your own rules, indulging into something you thought was wrong, but you didn't do it, so that's all what matters in the end. It means you're a very strong person.  I believe people who surround you will understand, because they know what you've been through. It's hard to kick an addiction, it's always painful for everyone, the addict and those who surround him, what matters is that you can fight and get away from it. I for one know it's hard when your problems lead you into emotionally hurting other people but the one who actually suffers is yourself - resenting yourself for causing pain to others, for being a real dick to to them and this amount of pain you feel inside seems impossible to destroy and only leads to isolation and you know the rest, I guess. You've made the right move by posting an explanation and I suppose you've done some talking with your close ones. That's a major step towards a brighter situation. Don't let the sun go down on your anger negative feelings.  

I think I can speak on behalf of everyone here by saying: WE LOVE YOU, ARANTOR. And we need you.