What do I do first

[D3athsdoor]

Ok I need help I've never had a board but I downloaded smf_1-2-rc2, when I read the manual it says I need server requirements.

PHP 4.1.0 or higher. The following are required to be set correctly in php.ini:

the engine directive must be On.
the magic_quotes_sybase directive must be set to Off.
the hxxp:session.save [nonactive]_path directive must be set to a valid directory, or empty.
the file_uploads directive must be On.
the upload_tmp_dir must be set to a valid directory, or empty.

    MySQL 3.23.28 or higher.

at least 500 kilobytes of storage space in the database, although more is highly recommended.
at least the following privileges: SELECT, INSERT, UPDATE, DELETE, ALTER, and INDEX.
during installation and conversion, the CREATE and DROP privileges.

   About six megabytes of storage space on the web server (more for attachments!).

What is that? Is it free? How do I do it? HELP!!!

[kegobeer]

Read the online documentation before proceeding.

http://docs.simplemachines.org/

[D3athsdoor]

I did check my edit... If I need PHP then how do I get it, or where do I get it from?

[kegobeer]

You need a webhost.  There are plenty of host recommendations on the Hosts and Hosting board.

[D3athsdoor]

I never like to degrade myself, however let me put this plainly I am dumb as this, better yet blind. Where is this "hosting" place, and do you pay or are they free?


Edit: I found the board, i think.

[kegobeer]

http://www.simplemachines.org/community/index.php

That's the main SMF index.  Scroll down until you see the Hosts and Hosting board.  Hosting is free or paid, depending on the host.